Im HeRe

I never realized how hard posting would be and then I just gave up. I am getting a veteran sitting in a hospital. One would never think hey when I grow up I am going to spend all my extra time siting in the hospital holding someones hand or bed pan!. I have had lots of practice right first Tressa, then Philip, this last summer with Maddox and now Trudi. One never realizes that sitting in a hospital for hours on end is a talent. Although it is easier now because I can work on the computer while she is sleeping.
When Trudi woke up on Tuesday she felt great and was hungry she ate all day. Now Wednesday and she cannot eat anything. The pain for her is almost unbearable, the pain for the mother is just about the same. She seems to be handling the whole thing well but really I don not think she gets the whole picture yet. Maybe someday when things are not so painful she will understand. I am at a loss on what to say to make it all better as parents we think that is our job to make it better. This particular event I cannot make better nor can I fix anything.
The best solution to this is prayer, prayer that she heals quickly, prayer that her heart will be healed also and prayer to have the faith to carry on.
Mostly I just ramble but my heart really hurts today and I am at a loss to what will fix it besides faith and prayer.

Miracles

Just a short note to say for all those who do not believe that God is active in their lives, they are not looking hard enough. I have been in Utah for 3 weeks now I have personally witnessed miracles every single day I have been here. There are many families at PCMC and I have seen miracles every dingle day while there. Many parents have had to make hard decisions while there and with lots of prayers and faith they have been lead the way that they needed to go. We have the highest of highs and great news and then the lowest of the lows and a child has passed on. I do not know how the nurses and the doctors work in that everyday. I personally would not be able to do it. Just seeing the parents struggle makes me cry. I have personally experienced losing a child and the constant free of the dying hurts my heart. I have made friends while there that will always have a special place in my heart. I just want people to know that Heavenly Father knows each of us personally and he answers our prayers.

Trails of faith

So I did not write in June. I was busy! The problem is there is always so much going on who has time to write! After Trina's wedding was over I thought I should take some time and go fishing. Mostly I just did homework and cleaned house. At the end of June we went to Bailee's beach birthday party we had to bring Gus up so he could o swimming with her. When we got here she did not want him in her pool! We did go fishing at the end of the month and for the fourth of July.
after we got home from the fourth we Philip and I decided to go fishing with friends for a few days with no kids it was nice. We caught several fish at Jacob's Lake! NOT there is no lake there someone should have told us that before we went. It was nice to see the grand canyon though. After we got back from fishing Traci called and said she was going into labor so I packed up my car and went to Pleasant Grove.
It was a Tuesday and she quit having pains after I got here! That is how it goes. By early Thursday morning she was in labor. Luke and her went to the hospital, the next morning I got Bailee up we ate breakfast and hung around the house for awhile. Finally we decided they had had enough time so we went to see the baby, as soon as we got there they rushed him out of the room and Bailee just got seconds to look at him, she was sad she had waited so patiently to see him and then they rushed him off. It started with maconium in his lungs. After 24 hours they decided it was something else so they sent him flight for life to Primary Children's Hospital.
I waited all day for Traci to call and tell us what was wrong. When Luke and her got home they said it was serious there was some hope but he had hyper-plastic left heart syndrome. There is no cure just several surgeries to make it more manageable. Suddenly they have to make some serious decisions. This is when lord sees what you are made of.
Although Traci and Luke's little Maddox has a different illness than Tressa I remember those day's of finding out your child has something that has the potential to shorten their lives. As a parent you want to give them every opportunity to make it in the world but at the same time you are always wondering if you are making the right decisions.
The ward and families have fasted for Maddox he is seeing great improvement and every day the reality of the tough decisions seem to get easier, but as the weeks turn to months and the months turn to years their are more and more decisions to make.
I am grateful for a father in heaven that gives us trials and tribulations to make us stronger and test our faith, we need them. I know that for me personally having this experience with Maddox has made me have a greater appreciation for the blessing that come with fasting and praying. Many people with have the opportunity to get blessing by giving service during Traci and Luke's time of need. I am grateful that they live in a place that people are so willing to help.

wedding

So Trina's wedding is over. It was nice, she had a good turn out I was glad so many of James' friends and family drove to Hiko for the reception. The weather started out a little windy but right before the reception was supposed to start it cleared up. Philip and I did a lot of yard work and now I have a really nice yard. Many people wanted to know if they could have their reception at the house, of course you can. i don't have a lot to say except it is time for me to concentrate on homework for the next few weeks.

Well people always ask me how I get everything done in a day! For the most part there is a side of me that says stopping at any time during the day is lazy, not sure where i got this notion so form when I wake up until I finally fall asleep I am doing something, lately it has been wedding stuff, homework, substituting at the local schools, being on the booster club board,plus coaching little league and going on all the high school trips. Of course this leaves little time for sleep and no me time, this last week I was on the verge of total exhausting when I was talking with a very good friend she asked me if I had always been that responsible and that busy and as far back as I could remember the answer was yes. She asked me why? I had no idea she asked me if I thought that is was my job to do everything for everybody and I said yes, she reminded me that there are others that will step up and do things It is not my job to do everything. so with that in mind I had to give up coaching little league that made me really cry but after 12 years it is time for someone else. The next few days were so stress free it made me see how much pressure I had been putting on myself. I also have given up the boosters; I will help if they call me but not be in charge next year. I have realized in the past few days that life does not have to be on constant whirl of activity that people should be able to sit and relax and have ME time that is what I am going to do have some ME time (well right after the wedding)

Just being a parent

Well I am trying to write every month since it is almost the end of March I better hurry and write something.
When your children are little you spend a lot of time wondering when they are going to grow up and start doing things for themselves, then one day you realize that you long for the days that they wanted your opinion and your help.
The reason you have children early on in life is when you get older you have said "no" so many times that if you are not careful you will forget to tell children that are still at home "no". sometimes though you do tell them no and they do it anyway.
Teenagers are Gods way of reminding you that you were once that young and had the same conversation with your parents.
When I was younger I new it all, when I had children I somehow forgot everything and then my children knew it all, as soon as they started having children of their own I again new it all.
With only two children still at home I long for the days when we loaded up the old rickety trailer and got to the Clark county fair, those were great times with the family.
Well maybe next month I will have something profound to say.

Getting Answers

So not that anybody actually reads this but I like to write anyway.
So people who know us know that we have a child with cystic fibrosis. Years ago I prayed and prayed about her getting healed or miraculously cured and nothing ever happened at the time I wanted to give up hope and was not sure how much faith I had. After months and months of praying I finally got this feeling that things would work out so I decided not to worry so much and do what the doctors told us. Tressa is now 17 and I wonder were the years went recently we were at the doctor's office and they were saying how healthy she was and what a good job we have done raising her. I was thinking back to when she was born and realized that a miracle did happen while she was growing up. Most people might not see the miracle but it just occurred to me the other day that my prayers were truly answered maybe not in the way I wanted but in the Lords time it all works out.